those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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