mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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