I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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