his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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