He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize