either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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