I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
