Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
