He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
