yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
