i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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