I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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