That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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