So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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