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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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