I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
