Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
