I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
