whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize