im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
