So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
