in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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