Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
