Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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