After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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