So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
