Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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