Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
