so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
