So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
