Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My liver just had a heart attack.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
