He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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