2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
