New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
