im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
