I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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