I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
