And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
