where am i from again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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