cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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