Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
