I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
