The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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