So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They have beer where we have blood.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
