yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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