Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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