So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
