I didn't shave. On purpose
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
