yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
