She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got inside last night via doggy door
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
