we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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