im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
