I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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