Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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