After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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