I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize