I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
