I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
