so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
