I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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