Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
