Sry I called you an 8
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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