I can tuck mytits in my pants
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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