I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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