Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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