OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
